Sunday, June 29, 2008

Only if I have a minute……

Trying to let go of these memories of sorrows
which are trapped inside of me,
where I feel alone, no one sees me crying.
I close my eyes and I see my departed friends and relatives
Friends that I forgot to tell how I feel about them
I see my relatives that because of my busy schedule I forgot to call.
All I have now are the tears of regrets. Tears of “what if?”
True I cannot stop them from dying, but I could had done my part when they were alive
All I have are faint memories of lost friends.
I wish I took the time to answer my calls instead of working on Xprexxion Mag.
I wish I took that picture of them instead of the Omoges and Fashion ladies
I wish I had spent more time listening to them instead of watching Law & Order

They don’t want my money; they just want to hear my voice, my smile and my silly jokes
Now that they are gone, I wish I can hear their voice, see their smile or listen to their silly jokes. Even for a minute. So I can have something to hold on to…

Alone, I am crying as if the tears can bring them back.
To my friends that are still alive, I love you!
To those that I offended in anyway, am sorry
To those that I had broken a promise or two, please give me another chance To those that gave up calling me, please try one more time
To those that I had broke their hearts - am sorry, I was young then
I may never get to say I love you, but I do.
Next time I see you, please let me take your picture, who knows that maybe the last time we will see each other.

I wish I can stop the tears and the regrets,
I wish I have one more second to tell them how I feel…….. I wish, but I can't.

Just one minute to hold on too and smile. A minute can be a life time of memory.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Temptation Part II: Soft Porno (Not again)

Temptation Part II: Soft Porno (Not again)

At the beginning of this year, I made a promise to be as good as an angel, however at every turn there are always temptations or distractions of different forms. This thing called “the devil” is determined to make it hard. It is even written in the bible that the devil will try as much as possible. I wish the devil is a naija person… so I can go and settle him with some Ghana must go bags so he can stop distracting me.

As usual, I was minding my business when the phone call came in, on the other end was a cousin of mine begging (ok just asking) for me to make an appearance at his party because he printed flyer saying that Xprexxion will be there. Of course, this was an opportunity for me to have free food and drink, why not?... so I agreed.

As soon as I arrived, I was greeted by another cousin of mine. She said, “Nice to see you uncle”. Before I could respond, I had to look at her face to make sure it is the same person. It seem that her boobs had grown by two extra letters from a ‘C’ to a “DD” since the last time I saw her, all pushed up almost touching her chin. Talk about an uncomfortable situation! She was a little shorter than me so I had no choice but to look down. How can I look down and have eye to eye contact without seeing what an uncle is not supposed to see. Quickly, so as not to embarrass myself; I moved away. Haa!!!!!!!! that was a close one.

As the night progressed it seemed that there was a dress code; everyone must wear Victoria Secret push-up bra. Those not wearing a push up bra were wearing no bra. what is this? Just to think that on Sunday morning some of these girls will be in the choir singing to the Lord all the while looking like a 14th street prostitute on Saturday night. God help all of us.

After getting over my initial shock, I started to enjoy the view from my VIP longue. I thought that temptation was over. Cracking jokes and drinking a glass of Moet, out of nowhere came another devil sent temptation, “Uncle Deji, can I sit here”? What was I supposed to say.. so I said sure, why not? Within minutes, I noticed that she was twisting and turning as if there was a cricket in her skirts. Out of curiosity, I asked “Is there anything wrong”? She responds, “I’m trying to adjust my skirt because that boy over there is looking at me”. So I took a glance, Lord, why did she bother to wear a skirt, she could have came to the party in her underwear and would still be more covered than what she was wearing. I asked, “Why do you have to wear that?” She responds, “I want to look sexy”. Looking sexy but uncomfortable! Someone needs to teach some of these so called young ladies that there is a thin line between looking sexy and looking like a prostitute.

After an hour of these uncomfortable peep shows, I decided to go home. After all, the music was horrible, all I could hear was the base, the food was ok.. but McDonald will be better and I am at least 5 years older that the oldest person here. For some reason, they all fell obligated to come and greet me. Doing so, my eyes continually saw things that it was not supposed to see.
I told my host that I needed to go and thanked him for a nice night. As he was walking me to the door, came another devil sent temptation, my friend’s wife dressing like she just won a shopping spree at a “Prostitute Mart” with her ass beads showing outside her undies.. The first thing that came to my mind was what was her husband thinking when she walked out of the house with her friends.

As I anticipated, on Sunday, I saw some of these ladies from the club party looking radiant in their Ankara with everything covered like mother Theresa. As a matter of fact one of the ladies that was on display the night before read the Sunday bible passage. God help all of us. So officially, no club parties for me. So please no one should invite me to one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May God help me.

Monday, June 23, 2008

I love you!

8.30p.m. just got off the phone with my daughter and every time, we end our conversation with the word “I love you”. The 8:30 pm phone call was our fourth phone conversation of the day and each time we end with the word “I love you” even on txt message. Do I have to say I love you every time? If I don’t respond will it seem as if I don’t love her?

Just thinking loud, a lot of which I have been doing lately. It may be a sign of an old age or maybe I’m just bored, but whatever is the reason, I find myself questioning a lot of things that we commonly do or say trying to find the meaning of it. I guess am at the stage of “Why” and trying to re-define my environment. Who knows?

Why can’t my actions indicate that I love you? Must I have to say it over and over? Or do people just love to hear the word “I love you”. A friend of mine once told me that she sees it as an assurance that he still loves her. What assurance? Can’t his actions be enough of assurance? My mother always says action speaks louder than words. The only time he says he loves you is when he is going inside of you or when he needs something from you or after you finish doing something for him. I was watching the movie “What’s love got to do with it” a few days ago for the fifth time in a decade, (As busy as I am, where do I find the time to watch movies), after her husband beat the living day light out of her, he pulls her closer and says “baby I love you”. “Baby I love you”? You love me and you blacked my eyes out? You loved me and you are verbally disrespecting me in front of your friends? You love me but you don’t care how my day was? But you love me!

I’m not sure maybe am reclining to my father’s mentality or the African men mentality of not saying the words “I love you”

Just thinking out loud! So if I forget to say I love you or if I do not say it, Cecilia Atinuke, you know dad loves you. It’s just that I think my actions should speak louder than my words.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

No! No! Not again in 2008 please!

Over the past one month I had been looking at pictures we took over the 2007 party season. Over 5000 pictures and surprisingly while most of them were fabulous, I noticed some less than glamorous situations. I must agree with Jay-Z. that African women are beautiful and can dress, most especially Nigerian women but there are times I wonder aloud, “What were you thinking about or did you look in the mirror before leaving the house”.
Here are my top 10 list of “what were you thinking about” or “Did you see the mirror”
1. Gele: If you can’t tie the gele, please ask someone to help you. Gele is the crown on the head of our Nigerian queens. You can’t just wrap it in your head like one oyinbo girl. You spend that much money on the outfit, please take the time to tie the gele.

2. Open toe shoe: I understand that it is cold outside, but why must you wear an open toe shoe with pantyhose under iro & buba.. simply tacky. Ladies, please if you are going to wear an open toe shoe, invest money in nail polish or pedicure. It costs between $15 to $25 at a nail salon. Disgusting.. simply disgusting. It’s not cute regardless how much the shoe cost or how well it matches the outfit.

3. Coordinate: Hmmmm.. everything does not have to be all pink.. try to mix colors. Do your best, if you’re not sure, ask a friend. Get a copy of Xprexxion magazine to see how to coordinate your colors.

4. See thru lace: Why and why must you go to a party with your unmentionables made public? As a man, I appreciate the peep show but please, if you are going to wear see thru lace, please wear a sexy bra underneath it. For $30 you can purchase a sexy bra at Victoria Secret or Fredrick’s of Hollywood. Why do women get upset when men are looking at the free show displayed? If you don’t want someone to look at it.. cover it up please. And Ladies, please if you are going to wear a white bra under your big hole lace, please make sure that the strap is clean.

5. Makeup: Someone stop me please. Where shall I start…hmmmmm make sure that your lips are not crusty when putting on lipstick. It is nasty to see crusty red lips. If I have to start talking about naija makeups.. I will be here until tomorrow.. I will save this topic for another day. Please use the mirror or consult a MAC makeup artist at your local shopping mall.

6. Crusty heels: It is nasty.. scrape it off.. spend the money for pedicure.. you are not in the village any more. At least soak it in some water and put some Vaseline on it. Crusty, flaking heels are not sexy.

7. Hair: Weave, weave, weave, I will leave this for another article…

8. Aso-Ebi: Please do not try to outstage the celebrant. (This one is for another article)

9. Skirt and blouse or style: Please pick a style that fits your body structure. We covered this topic in one of our previous edition of the magazine. I was at a party in Houston and a lady with size DDD was wearing a low cut blouse, every time she bent over to pick money for the celebrant, half of her breasts were on the floor. Please, it is not cute. I understand that after childbirth, some women have a little stomach bulge … please if you do, stay away from outfits that expose your stomach.. nasty… If you are unsure, please stick to Iro & buba. Iro & buba hide all body flaws.

10. Spraying musicians: I am guilty of this as much as the next person. Please let the celebrant enjoy his or her day. There is nothing more annoying than to watch an event video and over half of the time.. all we hear is someone’s name that is not the celebrant.

Next time a photographer does not take your picture at an event, you may be committing some of these mistakes. As we are getting ready for another season, I wish all of you a happy dancing and partying time.