Sunday, June 01, 2008

No! No! Not again in 2008 please!

Over the past one month I had been looking at pictures we took over the 2007 party season. Over 5000 pictures and surprisingly while most of them were fabulous, I noticed some less than glamorous situations. I must agree with Jay-Z. that African women are beautiful and can dress, most especially Nigerian women but there are times I wonder aloud, “What were you thinking about or did you look in the mirror before leaving the house”.
Here are my top 10 list of “what were you thinking about” or “Did you see the mirror”
1. Gele: If you can’t tie the gele, please ask someone to help you. Gele is the crown on the head of our Nigerian queens. You can’t just wrap it in your head like one oyinbo girl. You spend that much money on the outfit, please take the time to tie the gele.

2. Open toe shoe: I understand that it is cold outside, but why must you wear an open toe shoe with pantyhose under iro & buba.. simply tacky. Ladies, please if you are going to wear an open toe shoe, invest money in nail polish or pedicure. It costs between $15 to $25 at a nail salon. Disgusting.. simply disgusting. It’s not cute regardless how much the shoe cost or how well it matches the outfit.

3. Coordinate: Hmmmm.. everything does not have to be all pink.. try to mix colors. Do your best, if you’re not sure, ask a friend. Get a copy of Xprexxion magazine to see how to coordinate your colors.

4. See thru lace: Why and why must you go to a party with your unmentionables made public? As a man, I appreciate the peep show but please, if you are going to wear see thru lace, please wear a sexy bra underneath it. For $30 you can purchase a sexy bra at Victoria Secret or Fredrick’s of Hollywood. Why do women get upset when men are looking at the free show displayed? If you don’t want someone to look at it.. cover it up please. And Ladies, please if you are going to wear a white bra under your big hole lace, please make sure that the strap is clean.

5. Makeup: Someone stop me please. Where shall I start…hmmmmm make sure that your lips are not crusty when putting on lipstick. It is nasty to see crusty red lips. If I have to start talking about naija makeups.. I will be here until tomorrow.. I will save this topic for another day. Please use the mirror or consult a MAC makeup artist at your local shopping mall.

6. Crusty heels: It is nasty.. scrape it off.. spend the money for pedicure.. you are not in the village any more. At least soak it in some water and put some Vaseline on it. Crusty, flaking heels are not sexy.

7. Hair: Weave, weave, weave, I will leave this for another article…

8. Aso-Ebi: Please do not try to outstage the celebrant. (This one is for another article)

9. Skirt and blouse or style: Please pick a style that fits your body structure. We covered this topic in one of our previous edition of the magazine. I was at a party in Houston and a lady with size DDD was wearing a low cut blouse, every time she bent over to pick money for the celebrant, half of her breasts were on the floor. Please, it is not cute. I understand that after childbirth, some women have a little stomach bulge … please if you do, stay away from outfits that expose your stomach.. nasty… If you are unsure, please stick to Iro & buba. Iro & buba hide all body flaws.

10. Spraying musicians: I am guilty of this as much as the next person. Please let the celebrant enjoy his or her day. There is nothing more annoying than to watch an event video and over half of the time.. all we hear is someone’s name that is not the celebrant.

Next time a photographer does not take your picture at an event, you may be committing some of these mistakes. As we are getting ready for another season, I wish all of you a happy dancing and partying time.

1 comment:

Spicytee said...

LOL..this is some crazy truths.... but really we still have lots of beautiful ladies out there who dress well and match their taste to perfect styles in vogue..Anyway is a good point to note.
Thanks for the tips..Keep it coming...