Temptation Part II: Soft Porno (Not again)

Temptation Part II: Soft Porno (Not again)

At the beginning of this year, I made a promise to be as good as an angel, however at every turn there are always temptations or distractions of different forms. This thing called “the devil” is determined to make it hard. It is even written in the bible that the devil will try as much as possible. I wish the devil is a naija person… so I can go and settle him with some Ghana must go bags so he can stop distracting me.

As usual, I was minding my business when the phone call came in, on the other end was a cousin of mine begging (ok just asking) for me to make an appearance at his party because he printed flyer saying that Xprexxion will be there. Of course, this was an opportunity for me to have free food and drink, why not?... so I agreed.

As soon as I arrived, I was greeted by another cousin of mine. She said, “Nice to see you uncle”. Before I could respond, I had to look at her face to make sure it is the same person. It seem that her boobs had grown by two extra letters from a ‘C’ to a “DD” since the last time I saw her, all pushed up almost touching her chin. Talk about an uncomfortable situation! She was a little shorter than me so I had no choice but to look down. How can I look down and have eye to eye contact without seeing what an uncle is not supposed to see. Quickly, so as not to embarrass myself; I moved away. Haa!!!!!!!! that was a close one.

As the night progressed it seemed that there was a dress code; everyone must wear Victoria Secret push-up bra. Those not wearing a push up bra were wearing no bra. what is this? Just to think that on Sunday morning some of these girls will be in the choir singing to the Lord all the while looking like a 14th street prostitute on Saturday night. God help all of us.

After getting over my initial shock, I started to enjoy the view from my VIP longue. I thought that temptation was over. Cracking jokes and drinking a glass of Moet, out of nowhere came another devil sent temptation, “Uncle Deji, can I sit here”? What was I supposed to say.. so I said sure, why not? Within minutes, I noticed that she was twisting and turning as if there was a cricket in her skirts. Out of curiosity, I asked “Is there anything wrong”? She responds, “I’m trying to adjust my skirt because that boy over there is looking at me”. So I took a glance, Lord, why did she bother to wear a skirt, she could have came to the party in her underwear and would still be more covered than what she was wearing. I asked, “Why do you have to wear that?” She responds, “I want to look sexy”. Looking sexy but uncomfortable! Someone needs to teach some of these so called young ladies that there is a thin line between looking sexy and looking like a prostitute.

After an hour of these uncomfortable peep shows, I decided to go home. After all, the music was horrible, all I could hear was the base, the food was ok.. but McDonald will be better and I am at least 5 years older that the oldest person here. For some reason, they all fell obligated to come and greet me. Doing so, my eyes continually saw things that it was not supposed to see.
I told my host that I needed to go and thanked him for a nice night. As he was walking me to the door, came another devil sent temptation, my friend’s wife dressing like she just won a shopping spree at a “Prostitute Mart” with her ass beads showing outside her undies.. The first thing that came to my mind was what was her husband thinking when she walked out of the house with her friends.

As I anticipated, on Sunday, I saw some of these ladies from the club party looking radiant in their Ankara with everything covered like mother Theresa. As a matter of fact one of the ladies that was on display the night before read the Sunday bible passage. God help all of us. So officially, no club parties for me. So please no one should invite me to one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May God help me.